LAS VEGAS -- In the midst of attempting to work out a complicated multi-team deal with Padres GM Kevin Towers involving Jake Peavy, Jim Hendry woke up this morning to find out that he had traded himself to the Tampa Bay Rays.
At least 17 players had been slated to change teams in what was shaping up as a five-team swap involving the Cubs, the Padres, the Rays, the Orioles and the Fukuoka SoftBank Hawks of Japan's NPB, who had also been consulted by President-elect Barack Obama about whether the team's owner could help out in bailing out the US auto industry. It had to be broken gently to Obama that SoftBank isn't a bank, but a conglomerate comprised mostly of media and Internet companies.
Some of the Cub players and prospects scheduled to rack up frequent-flyer miles in this deal while they figure out which airports to change planes in include Josh Vitters, Sean Marshall, Felix Pie and Ron Santo, who said, "Maybe if I can put up a couple of 30-homer seasons in Japan, I can get the Veterans Committee to notice me." When reporters pointed out that it might be hard for Santo to do so while wearing two artificial legs, he claimed that he could DH full-time and the legs wouldn't slow him down.
Among the things Hendry had tentatively acquired for the Cubs in this deal from the Orioles was a chance for Cubs players to compete during spring training in a new MLB Network reality show, "Survivor: Camden Yards", in which contestants compete for the chance to complete a trade with Orioles GM Andy MacPhail involving Brian Roberts. In a twist on the usual results of "Survivor"-type shows, a competitor would be considered a "winner" in this show if he or she was voted off the island before actually making the deal, or losing his or her sanity by hearing more than 100 Roberts rumors a day, whichever came first.
It was during the complicated negotiations to decide who was going to be the host of the reality show (Jay Mariotti, the supposed front-runner, was eliminated from consideration after he asked Bud Selig to drop the MLB territorial broadcast restrictions so that "everyone" could see the show) that Hendry learned that his contract had inadvertently been transferred to the Rays.

photo via cache.daylife.com
"I'll miss Chicago and the chance to be a champion there," Hendry said. "But the weather's better in Tampa and maybe Kerry Wood can join me there. And Lou Piniella is going to rent his house to me during the season." Cubs assistant GM Randy Bush will take over the GM reins while a bankruptcy court judge in Chicago examines the Cubs' books to decide who should be Hendry's permanent replacement.
Meanwhile, the deal is in limbo while rescuers frantically search for Peavy, who is rumored to be stuck in a long security line at one of several airports while TSA agents make him sort through the five different colors of baseball uniforms and shoes he had packed to take to the press conference announcing the deal.
0 recs | 78 comments
Do you now write for...
…the Heckler?
Nice change of pace…
blackhawk24 - December 9, 2008
Thought we all needed one.
Glad you liked it.
Al Yellon - December 9, 2008
I enjoyed it
Let’s see how long before the appearance of today’s “I really didn’t want to do this but here is another Jake Peavy diary.”
rlpete - December 9, 2008
Which is one reason I wrote this in the first place.
Al Yellon - December 9, 2008
This made my day
n/t
rob9802 - December 9, 2008
Good-bye DeRosa ?
DeRosa for Peavy ? I don’t like it
http://www.chicagobreakingnews.com/2008/12/padres-gm-peavy-deal-up-to-cubs.html
coral - December 9, 2008
Not exactly
breaking news.
rlpete - December 9, 2008
And the comment might have gone better...
in this FanPost which is on that specific topic.
Al Yellon - December 9, 2008
I heard we might resign Dempster...
digitalbenjamin - December 9, 2008
solves a lot of issues, actually
I like DeRo, but his value is about as high as it will ever be. And given the Cubs’ wishes to hang on to Fontenot, I think this makes sense. If the Cubs sign Milton Bradley, which mlbtraderumors says could be in the works, here’s the lineup (assuming Furcal, Roberts, etc. are about to fall off the Cubs’ wish list).
Sori
Fontenot
Lee
Ramirez
Bradley
Soto
Fukudome
Theriot
(I’m not sure what will happen against lefties … )
This is assuming Sori stays in the leadoff spot, which could change — especially if Fukudome rights his ship. But there’s good righty-lefty balance. There’s also the issue of whether Lee should hit third, but Lou could easily mix and match with Lee, Ramirez and Soto in the 3, 4, and 6 spots.
Assuming Bradley can play a decent right field, the worst thing about this trade is that it makes the Cubs a lot less deep. RJ is back, and I’m guessing Micah H. will get a shot (he’s cheap, can play three positions and he’s left handed). Another spot will be taken by Blanco of Koyie Hill (I’d imagine).
Assuming Cedeno’s gone in one of the trades, this means the Cubs will need to sign a utility guy who ideally can play a strong short, third AND the outfield. Any ideas?
elgato - December 9, 2008
people dont understand
its like people think the more peavy diaries the more likely its gunna happen. Just sit back and enjoy the ride that is the winter meetings people..
Kchance - December 9, 2008
I agree.
Or maybe it’s that then their post can the"one" . I personally have stopped clicking on any fan post w/ Peavy in the title.
Madison Cub Fan - December 9, 2008
Some much-needed levity amidst this chaos
Thanks, Al.
And just to continue the rumor quota, here’s what the Boston Globe has to say this morning (it involves Milton Bradley and Kerry Wood)
Bill Potter - December 9, 2008
Harden
I wouldn’t be surprised to see Harden dealt to San Diego and one more year for Marquis on the North Side.
Frankly, I’d be OK with that depending on what else happens in the various trades. Harden is incredibly good, but he’s so brittle …
elgato - December 9, 2008
I don't think Harden is going anywhere.
Al Yellon - December 9, 2008
If the Cubs can't trade Marquis
(at least most of his salary), they may have no choice.
The way I figure it: (Cubs’ current payroll) + (Peavy) – (DeRo) + (FA RF) – ($6M of Marquis) = $144M.
That puts the Cubs right near budget, with very little mid-season wiggle room. They might be better off trading $7M of Harden than only $5M of Marquis.
DeRoMyHero - December 9, 2008
That's why Peavy may be an expensive luxury.
If you trade Harden, keep Marquis and acquire Peavy, where’s the improvement?
Al Yellon - December 9, 2008
There isn't one, IMO
while Peavy may be less injury-prone than Harden, he’s still a risk, especially with past elbow trouble.
If Peavy and Harden are both in the rotation, the Cubs will need a long man/6th starter for some spot starts, that much is certain, which is why keeping Sean Marshall is imperative, in my opinion.
Bill Potter - December 9, 2008
Peavy isn't as injury prone
and can go longer in games.
elgato - December 9, 2008
Crunching the numbers
Peavy has averaged 6.1 (6 and one-third) innings per start; he has 1 complete game in the last 2 years and 6 for his career. Last year, Peavy was just over 6.1 innings per start.
Bill Potter - December 9, 2008
yeah, but ...
Harden has averaged less than 16 starts a year in the past four years. Peavy has averaged 25.
elgato - December 9, 2008
Which is why that swingman in the bullpen is imperative
I would count on Peavy’s health more than Harden’s, but I would definitely have a backup plan in place. And if in acquiring Peavy, the pitching depth (i.e. Sean Marshall) would have to be traded, leaving the rotation thinned out, that could have some seriously negative ramifications.
Bill Potter - December 9, 2008
The improvement is in the length of the contract.
I think what may be driving this is a look into the near future, when we possibly drop Marquis and Harden in the next offseason. That would leave us with a rotation of Z, Demp, Lilly, Marshall(?), and possibly the Shark. One offseason later, Lilly could become a FA. What does the pitching market of the 2009 offseason look like? And the 2010? Perhaps in the short term it’s a luxury, but it does at the same time lock in a very solid arm and stabilize three fifths of our rotation for years.
Flatley - December 9, 2008
Harden Stays
We need another pitcher to fill Kerry Wood’s place to be on DL at least twice a year!
CubFreak - December 9, 2008
Good stuff, Al.
Could someone please wake me up in two weeks when this whole thing is over? (It WILL be over, right? Right?) I’m getting a headache.
ScottieG33 - December 9, 2008
Bravo! and hahahaha :D
BTW and entirely off topic Gov. Blagojovich finally arrested before he could sell off Obama’s Senate seat.
Emelie - December 9, 2008
Let's keep politics out of this, please.
Thanks for the compliment.
Al Yellon - December 9, 2008
will do
Emelie - December 9, 2008
haha
Deflection in the house!
lamentir - December 9, 2008
Good one! But...
…am I detecting a bit of bitterness, Al, over the growing notion that we really ARE going to cut a deal with the Padres in spite of your downplaying here?! – TL
timlacy - December 9, 2008
No, just trying to inject some levity.
Al Yellon - December 9, 2008
Just checking!
And after all the hot air expended this time last year on Roberts, we need it. With the Orioles potentially involved (again—-sigh), all of this could fall through. Not in a hurry, however, but in a long, drawn-out, painful process that kills 4 cities instead of 2. – TL
timlacy - December 9, 2008
It apparently might have something to do with the sale of Wrigley too.
Otsu48 - December 9, 2008
Unbelievable.
However, I think the political discussion needs to end here. Thanks.
Al Yellon - December 9, 2008
But, in this case, isn't the subject germane (with respect to the imminent sale)?
I mean, when there was talk about selling Wrigley Field as a stand-alone asset, there was some speculation here on what that would mean (the owner of the property would then be able to focus on development & renovation, etc). If I remember correctly, there were some very substantial comments made right here about the possibility of the ISFA buying it. I’m with you on keeing Red vs Blue off your site. However, shouldn’t we be allowed to discuss how the State would/has impact(ed) the sale of this franchise and ballpark?
Flatley - December 9, 2008
Yes.
There’s a FanShot discussing this issue right now. That’d be a good place for this discussion — I suggest recommending it so it stays at the top of the FanShot list.
Al Yellon - December 9, 2008
Good call.
Thanks, Al.
Flatley - December 9, 2008
His arrest that is.
Otsu48 - December 9, 2008
Thanks for lightening our spirits
At least we now know why the Cubs haven’t sold.
http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/12/09/illinois.govenor/index.html
goddess - December 9, 2008
Very silly!
Just what I need today.
Thanks Al.
cowsarecool220 - December 9, 2008
Way to go Al! You have now joined
me and datcubfandaver as official representatives of the BCB sarcasm committee.
willie mays hayes' gloves - December 9, 2008
Oh, you'll love our lunch meetings, Al.
Of course, I might mean that sarcastically.
daver - December 9, 2008
Meetings?
I was told there would be no meetings.
Al Yellon - December 9, 2008
We hold them once a week at the govenor's mansion.
willie mays hayes' gloves - December 9, 2008
HAHAHAHA!!!!!
zing!
chilango2 - December 9, 2008
I want in..
Chanman25 - December 9, 2008
Classic...
especially the “Survivor Camden Yards” part, that one had me roaring.
jbertram - December 9, 2008
haha very "The Onion" like
And I remember seeing a smaller one in my fanpost on Peavy. haha excellent!
Chanman25 - December 9, 2008
This would have been an Onion piece...
…if the trade involved a goat. Touche, Al, touche. If Jimbo actually did this, somehow I don’t think he’d leave us hangin’.
Dan
dtpollitt - December 9, 2008
Perhaps he would work in a GMTBNL clause.
Flatley - December 9, 2008
LOL
l should have thought of adding a goat to the post, deep or otherwise.
Al Yellon - December 9, 2008
LMAO
Nice!
Mike Vails Evil Twin - December 9, 2008
So Al,
Is this information the stuff that Crane Kenney told you “off the record”? That’s not a good way to get another interview with him, you know…
Thanks for the morning laugh amid the DeRo rumors!
DeRoMyHero - December 9, 2008
LOL
My lips are sealed!
Glad you enjoyed it.
Al Yellon - December 9, 2008
Well, I'm not surprised
amid the crazy news this morning. Blago to jail, DeRo to Philadelphia and my sudden nomination for the vacant U.S. Senate seat, even though I’m not American.
chilango2 - December 9, 2008
My grandfather voted in Chicago for 50 years
without ever officially becoming a U.S. citizen. For all I know, he may still be voting even though he’s been dead for 30 years. You are just following a long, proud Chicago tradition….
DeRoMyHero - December 9, 2008
Santo is currently on ESPN 1000
for anyone that cares. Btw, great article Al.
Jayo525 - December 9, 2008
What's he saying?
I hope he’s not too despondent from yesterday’s perpetuated travesty.
Flatley - December 9, 2008
Maybe Santo could get nominated to Obama's Senate seat.
Once in the Senate, he could get legislation passed that puts him in the Hall of Fame.
Al Yellon - December 9, 2008
THIS PLACE IS HOPPIN' TODAY!
I love winter talks; they always renew my interest in the Cubbies after a seemingly miserable playoff run.
dtpollitt - December 9, 2008
Nicely done!
But who are we getting to replace Ron in the booth? I’m thinking somebody left handed, to keep Lou happy. We can platoon them with Cory.
znohitter - December 9, 2008
I figured from
the headline this was something funny and it was. Thanks Al.
sue369 - December 9, 2008
Sorry I've been out, but....
This is brand new news to me!!! I’m hoping we picked up Brady Anderson from the O’s, he’s the left-handed power hitting centerfielder we’ve been waiting for.
Jaydee1978 - December 9, 2008
For no particular reason
Brady Anderson was one of my favorite players ever, he’s the epitome of roids: like in 1996 when he roided-out and hit 50 homers with a OPS+ of 156. 156!! I mean, just look at his stats that year:
Year Ag Tm Lg G AB R H 2B 3B HR RBI SB CS BB SO BA OBP SLG *OPS+ TB SH SF IBB HBP GDP
1996 32 BAL AL 149 579 117 172 37 5 50 110 21 8 76 106 .297 .396 .637 156 369 6 4 1 22 11 MVP-9,AS
For the record, he hit 16 homers the year before, and 18 the year after. Ah, steroids.
Dan
dtpollitt - December 9, 2008
Yep, that one had to be PED's.
Anderson holds the record for the 50-homer guy who had the lowest total for his next-highest year of homers (21).
Al Yellon - December 9, 2008
Al, that's not fair
You usually come out against rampant speculation like this. Other than the HR totals, is there even any hint of PEDs? Someone has to hold the record that you reference. Anytime there is any statistical anomaly, people cry, “steroids”. It’s like how El Nino was blamed for everything in the late 1990’s . . .
Shanghai Badger - December 9, 2008
OK, maybe that was a little over the top.
YOU try to explain it. It’s one of the biggest outlier seasons in ML history.
Al Yellon - December 9, 2008
Um I have to agree slightly...
I guess I’m no expert on Steroids, but I don’t think they work like Popeye’s spinach.
jbertram - December 10, 2008
You can't be serious, Badger.
The guy hit 25% of his career total in homers in one season. Out of fifteen MLB seasons, he had two 20+ homer seasons besides a FIFTY HOMER SEASON. The guy is 6’1, 185 pounds. He was fast, he averaged 28 swipes a year. He batted lead-off! Lead-off!!
And this, for no other reason than he looks like a UFC fighter:
dtpollitt - December 9, 2008
Brady had everthing goin' on that year
Even the sideburns were cool!
CubFreak - December 9, 2008
Word on the street
was that he was gay. I live in the B-more area and that was a hot topic. I don’t have any sources or anything but I do remember hearing that. Could explain his 50 homer season. He’s good with wood.
McRipper - December 10, 2008
Word on the street?
Ah, that explains why he enjoyed diving for balls.
CubFreak - December 10, 2008
With apologies to Marvin Gaye.
Jimmy, Jimmy
I think Kevin Tower’s lying
Hendry, Hendry, Hendry
There’s far too many rumors flying
You know we’ve got to find a way
To bring some players here today, eh?
Blago, Blago
We don’t need your wife to hate
You see, kickbacks aren’t the answer
Although I might be slightly late
You know we’ve got to find a way
To bring some players here today
Peavy deals and Peavy steals
Don’t punish me with sheer lunacy
Talk to BCB, so we can see
What’s goin’ on, what’s goin’ on?
Uh, what’s goin’ on, oh, what’s goin’ on?
Louie, Louie
Everybody thinks you’re wrong
Oh, but who are they to judge you
Simply ‘cause our closer’s gone
Oh, you know we’ve got to find a way
To bring some fresh new lefties here today
Peavy deals and Peavy steals
Don’t punish me with sheer lunacy
Talk to BCB, so we can see
What’s goin’ on, what’s goin’ on?
Uh, what’s goin’ on, oh, what’s goin’ on?
znohitter - December 9, 2008
You're batting 1000!
Emelie - December 9, 2008
nice!
n/t
elgato - December 9, 2008
Rec'd again
Shanghai Badger - December 9, 2008
LOL
great post Al, and I think it was better without any goats… the rule against talking about goats applies to funny posts too.
Today was so gloomy I could really use this.
HoosierFan - December 9, 2008
Well done, Al
Makes me mad that I didn’t think of it first. Really enjoyed it.
Brett Taylor - December 10, 2008
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